My Alex

years ago
I last held
his tabby furred body
That worried look with the “M” eyebrows
won me over first glance.
But he fled upon first seeing me
then returned, time and time again.                                     Alex Always
Hunger always conquers fear.
Eventually he fell in love with me…
and I him. 
I saw that clearly one day, 
when I called for him:


and out of the vast expanse of countryside
his black banded tail held high
wound its quick way ziggzagging a path 
through dense rosemary groundcover 
until his worried face looked up at mine
as if to say, “Here I am here I am here I am.”

My Alex.

Nine short years with that dear cat.
The last year hard, good & bad, up & down
fighting chronic kidney disease. 
But those were our closest days.
Those were the days when 
his personality soared and expanded. 
His talkative meows vibrated through the walls
of our large home, now in suburbia, 
where he was safe from the coyote dense wilds
only to be attacked by disease.

We played and cuddled, he purred and purred loudly.
I recorded that purr for later.
I knew I would miss hearing it.
I’d hoped it would bring him closer 
during the forever days thereafter.
It hasn’t.
We were given an extra year…
I held him for as long as grace allowed.

My Alex.

I struggle to find poetics in his death, even after ten years.
But his life was an eloquent soliloquy on catdom 
and I… I was his honored patron.


About P C Niles

Living along the rural and majestic coast of southern Oregon, P C Niles has found her forever home. She shares this home with her husband, Stephen, numerous cats and a dog, and an assortment of visiting wildlife. Pursuits include writing, meditating, reading, yoga, gardening, cooking, photography, and beach walking. Graced by serendipity daily.
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6 Responses to My Alex

  1. A lovely tribute to your boy, Pam. And what a nice picture of him. Tabbies, gotta love them, they are so lovely.

  2. Teri Bailey says:

    Hi, Pam!! I really enjoyed this poem…made me think of my many cats over the years. Seriously, if I were still teaching, this poem would have been on my reading list!!

  3. Karen Woy says:

    Very much enjoyed your Alex poem,know how sad losing him must have been.

  4. Bonnie Jorgenson says:

    Oh dang Pam, this had me in tears!! It is such a beautiful remembrance of your handsome M Tabby, Alex!!! Loved reading tribute..thank you, for sharing!! Love you, Bonnie

  5. Diane Cogswell says:

    Alex and you (his Mommy) are Extremely Healthy Connected Spirits of the One Mind Now! your sister Diane

  6. Libby says:

    Beautiful cat. One of our previous cats, a tortoiseshell, was called Pansy due to the pansy flower-like markings between her eyes!

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